The Media I Consumed in 2025

 Better late than never one must believe.

Every year I track everything that I have watched/read to completion (not counting rewatches/rereads) and give it a ranking out of ten as well as some sort of stupid comment or review, plus colour-coding based on whether or not I consider it 'queer media' by my own wispy definition, as I am ostensibly a queer blog. Green is unequivocally yes, Purple is...maybe, Red is not at all. 

The Crème de la Crème

Best Book: Bring up the Bodies by Hilary Mantel

Best Film: Dog Day Afternoon

Best TV: Mad Men

Best Theatre: Scarlet Flower by default :(

BOOKS

The Habits of Good Society: A Handbook of Etiquette for Ladies and Gentlemen (author anonymous, 1859) — 10/10 — If I could have dinner with any figure from all of human history, it would be the author of this book. I was live-posting about this when I read it and I meant it when I said this person would have done numbers on Twitter. 

Sunrise On the Reaping by Suzanne Collins — 2/10 — This is a cash-grab bashed out over maybe five afternoons. Ballad is so lovely and thoughtful and this is just page after page of pandering, repetitive dross. Man alive.

The Founding by Cynthia Harrod-Eagles — 9/10 — Sometimes you want to read a bit of classic historical fiction and Cynthia will always oblige. But also. There's like fifty named characters and not one of them is gay are you kidding me? Not even Isabella? Neither of the Thomases? I wonder if she donated to Philippa Langley's insane car park scheme. 

The Ladie Upstairs by Jessie Elland — 5/10 — Not quite an entry in the 'weird girl lit' category but it does skim the sides a bit. There's an extreme lack of purpose to it. 

Edward II: His Sexuality and Relationships by Kathryn Warner — 10/10 — Perhaps it's just the hater in me but, apart from the lovely and gentle handling of Edward himself, I really love how Warner criticises cultural depictions of Isabella. People are complicated and sexuality is complicated! Moreover, people change!

Wolf Hall by Hilary Mantel — 9/10 — Her prose makes me feel like I'm being pulled gently through a cool, clear river on a summer's day. 

May We Be Spared to Meet On Earth ed. by Russell A. Potter, Regina Koellner, Peter Carney, and Mary Williamson — 10/10 — The dog-postage shenanigans of Harry Goodsir are almost enough to dissipate the awful sense of doom that hangs over every letter included in this book. 

Bring Up the Bodies by Hilary Mantel — 10/10 — Everything great about Wolf Hall elevated by having a much tighter plot. Classic tragedy!

The Letters of Jane Austen (1908 edition) — 10/10 — If these are the ones Cassandra chose not to burn I can see why she did it. 

Alexei: Russia's Last Tsesarevich - Letters, Diaries, and Writings trans. & ed. by George Hawkins — 10/10 — He was a very funny child, more so than I'd expected. George Hawkins, as ever, doing great work.

The White Guard by Mikhail Bulgakov (trans. Michael Glenny) — 9/10 — Not sad as such but very melancholy. I read "June. Barcarolle" and had one of those moments where you want to throw yourself off a building for not having come up with something yourself. 

Speak, Memory by Vladimir Nabokov — 10/10 — Reads like a dream. I don't think I realised just how much Nabokov's relationship with his brother bleeds into every piece of his writing. 

Glorious Exploits by Ferdia Lennon — 7/10 — One of those that's almost brilliant but there are times Lennon drops the thread and it starts veering too much into this sappy modernism which completely contradicts the rest of the book. 

FILMS

The Leopard (1963) — 6/10 — Time has been very kind but I find myself agreeing with a lot of the early reviews. The last half hour feels like it belongs to a different, much better film.

Anora — 10/10 — Mikey Madison earned that Oscar and then some. 

Inglourious Basterds — 9/10 — Neat. 

Outlaw King — 7/10 — I like Florence Pugh in pretty dresses so whatever the story this would've been a hit with me. 

Ivan the Terrible Parts I & II — 8/10 — This is cinema my god. So beautiful. So well-done. What a curious thing to end on. 

No Hard Feelings — 6/10 — Fun and most importantly not a remake of something from the 90s.

Heretic — 3/10 — That'll teach me to watch something just because Sophie Thatcher's in it. 

Gladiator II — 3/10 — I know you're not supposed to think about this kind of film very much but hmm? What? Has Ridley Scott seen the first one?

Chariots of Fire — 7/10 — Very Brideshead Revisited. In aesthetic if not...in spirit. 

Downton Abbey: The Grand Finale — 4/10 — Why are we still here? Just to suffer?

Priscilla — 8/10 — Sophia Coppola's work doesn't much resonate with me in general but this is nice. I think the ending is rushed. 

Far From the Madding Crowd (2015) — 4/10 — My father was absolutely blown away by this for some reason I find myself unable to fathom. 

Hamlet/Horatio — 9/10 — It's so bizarre and artsy and sincere I was astral projecting the first time I watched it and each rewatch sends me to a higher plane. It might take you a minute to see the vision but god it's just such a riot. One point off for the frankly INSANE use of bloom and dissolves. 

Dog Day Afternoon — 10/10 — WOW!

28 Years Later — 9/10 — Can't stop thinking about the use of Boots here it's so good.

TV SERIES

Arcane — 5/10 — It's kind of like Castlevania but worse in every conceivable way.

Inventing Anna — 7/10 — My household had a ban on reality tv so I've never watched any, but I think this is the essential experience.

American Primeval — 6/10 — Excessively grim.

The Leopard (2025) — 9/10 — The Sicilian tourism board paid good money for this and I'll tell you it was money well spent. Tops the 1963 film in everything except the final ball scene.

The White Lotus — 7/10 — One's pretty good, two's fantastic, three's like...fine. I think we're losing it.

Yellowjackets (Season 3) — 7/10 — Some very curious choices have been made post-season one but I'm kind of sunk-cost-fallacying my way through it now. We're in this to the bitter end. Don't talk to me about my best friend Mari Ibarra. 

The Gentlemen — 9/10 — Don't think I could take another series of it but in small doses it's stylish and good fun. I think if anyone but Theo James was playing Eddie then it would be pretty unbearable. 

The Last of Us (Season 2) — 5/10 — Generally I encourage weird choices in adaptations but in this case almost everyone involved has badly misunderstood the source material.

The Gilded Age (Season 3) — 7/10 — As I've said before this is the worst show on television and I love it to pieces. 

Forsyte Saga (2002) — 7/10 — The night I watched this was the worst of the year for me so this was a really lovely distraction. Also this runs in my blood because my grandmother used to mandate SILENT HOUSE so she could watch the original in peace every week. 

1670 — 8/10 — Whenever I think of this show all I can picture is that bit where Jakub demonstrates how he's going to grab Andrzej's daughters and I burst out laughing. 

Mad Men — 10/10 — We're not homosexuals we're divorced!!!

Death by Lightning — 8/10 — I wish it was a little more developed. Maybe an extra editing pass on the dialogue. Maybe another episode. Make me care more. Make me feel like it's really 1881.

Heated Rivalry — 1/10— The reason this took off is because a lot of people decide at an early age that fanfiction is beneath them and thus never develop immunity to this sort of rubbish in the mainstream. One point for the brilliant job done by François Arnaud MY Cesare Borgia. Go and watch Fellow Travellers instead.

Stranger Things (Season 5) — 2/10 — I don't understand how you can write any of this and be like "Hm yes perfect this is something I want people to associate with my name."

THEATRE

The Scarlet Flower (Live | Liberty Theatre Tbilisi) — 5/10 — This began as a stage adaptation of Sergei Aksakov's The Scarlet Flower and swiftly became an unlicensed performance of Disney's Beauty and the Beast. All the dialogue was live but the singing was pre-recorded so there was always a very funny second-long pause between the actors' normal-volume speech, loading the tracks, and THE LOUDEST MUSIC YOU'VE EVER HEARD. Gaston and LeFou absolutely killed it, full commitment, standing ovation. 

Happily the theatre uploaded a trailer some years ago so you, too, get to see exactly what we witnessed.

Diaries of Grand Duke Konstantin Konstantinovich — March 1880

Gerzog Edinburgski [Duke of Edinburgh], c.1892

14th March — Friday — Petersburg

In yesterday's order for the guards crew, officers were assigned to ships. On the frigate Gerzog Edinburgski, on which my father intends to send me around the world as senior lieutenant, the appointed midshipmen are: both Stelimans, Prince Shcherbatov, Nilov, Pr. Baryatinsky, Arsenev, Count Tolstoy, and Prince Dondukov-Korsakov. They say that A. V. Menshikov will be on the Gerzog as second lieutenant. 

I'm happy that for the length of the three-year voyage I will live among good people known to me and friendly with each other. All my dreams are coming true; it remains only to thank God that I won't be leaving the society of my comrades, to whom I have grown accustomed for nearly ten years. The only sad thing is that Poretsky and Dzhangar weren't put on the Gerzog. 

Last Tuesday evening at Countess Annette Komarovskaya's, Turgenev told [us] about Kuindzhi's latest, still not quite finished painting; he described it so artistically that I longed to compare the description with the original. Yesterday, Ilya Alexandrovich and I went to find Kuindzhi's studio, he lives on Vasilievsky Island, on the Maly Prospekt b. 16, ap. 4. We barely found the studio, having crawled around various corners for almost a quarter of an hour. It's located on the highest floor and, presumably, converted from a photography studio. Kuindzhi himself is not of a great height, fat, with a big blond head and lively blue eyes. He didn't know me and looked at [me] with some surprise, surely not expecting to find an art lover in a naval uniform. Nonetheless, he very politely invited us into his studio and showed us his painting.

It was as if I was frozen in place. I saw before me the image of a wide river; a full moon shining upon it over a very long distance, about thirteen versts. I experienced such a feeling as coming on to a high hill from which one can see in the distance a majestic river, illuminated by the moon. It takes one's breath away, you can't tear yourself from the blinding, magical painting. The soul yearns. All this is expressed in Kuindzhi's picture, at the sight of it you feel as though you are in front of a real river, shining with bright light amidst the darkness. 

I told Kuindzhi that I will buy his marvellous work; I fell deeply in love with this painting and would give much for it. All day afterwards, when I closed my eyes, I saw this painting. 

15th March — Saturday — 2nd week of Epiphany

I worried all day for Olya. I consider the 15th fatal. Eugene died on the fifteenth, Gavrishev on the fifteenth. Still no news about Olya's release from burden.

Yulia Feodorovna Abaza invited me to a musical morning. An excerpt from the opera Demon by A. Rubinstein was played, the author himself accompanied on the piano. The part of Tamara was sung by A. V. Panaeva, the Demon by Pryanishnyakov. Elena of Mecklenburg sang the Angel. The first scene of the first act was played and all of the last act. I found that the music of Demon plays as well in a room as in the theatre. Needless to say that Demon is very hard to stage. Starting with the figure of the Demon himself and the whole environment. This opera is lost on stage—Pryanishnikov was very good; his voice is wonderfully pleasant and his manner of singing also...

16th March — Sunday

The health of the Empress is still worse and worse, Botkin has little hope. The divorce was refused. 

Prince Orlov, our ambassador in France, has arrived in Petersburg. He heard obednya at ours. They sang excellently...

17th March — Monday

The day of St. Alexei the Man of God, name day of A. V. Menshikov. I'm giving him a black silver pig with red eyes, this is the big thing now and is called porte-bonheur...

On Friday I conceived an evening, again on Mama's behalf and in her rooms. This time I. S. Turgenev will serve as the bait. Eugenie and her husband will come, Varvara Ilinichna, Tatiana Mikhailovna, Madame Naryshkina, Madame Mukhartova etc. 

Tchaikovsky, c. 1880

19th March — Wednesday

People from my company, appointed to the State, were today sent to Krondstadt. 

Paintings by Vereschagin were exhibited in the concert hall at the Winter Palace, where the Sovereign viewed them. I heard that He was unsatisfied with Vereschagin's direction and didn't want to see him. A concert for invalids at the Bolshoi Theatre.

I spent a lovely evening at Vera Vasilievna Butakova's: she promised to introduce me to Tchaikovsky—our best composer, and she invited him. His brother Anatoly was there too, and Apukhtin and Shcherbatov.

Pyotr Ilyich Tchaikovsky looks 35, though his face and greying hair give him a more elderly appearance. He is of small height, satisfactory weight, with a short beard and meek clever eyes. His actions, manner of speaking and whole appearance speak to an extremely well-mannered and sweet person. He was educated at a school of jurisprudence, was very unhappy in his family life and now exclusively does music.

Apukhtin is famous for his exorbitant thickness and excellent poetic compositions which he won't agree to write down for anything: he memorises and recites them by heart.

Vera Vasilievna begged him to read us something; he recited Venice, the least famous of his poems. It's so good that the whole time he's speaking you fear that it will soon finish, you long to listen on and on. 

I was forced to play; I wanted to perform a romance by Tchaikovsky, but I was too afraid. His brother sang; I accompanied him for A Tear Trembles, then played No, Only He Who Knew and then the romance B-molle. 

P. Tchaikovsky was begged to play something from his new, still unprinted opera Joan of Arc, he sat at the piano and performed a choir prayer. We were all in raptures from the wonderful music, it was the moment when the people find out about Joan's prophetic vision and she addresses the crowd, urging them to pray to the Lord God. The form of the text is reminiscent of the first act of Lohengrin: the voices gradually rising, all intensifying, and, finally, together with the orchestra reaches fortissimo and the highest notes. This morceau d'ensemble should be extremely good and effective on the stage.

After dinner, Apukhtin read a few more verses of his own composition. We broke up at 2 o'clock—Tchaikovsky gave me the most pleasant impression. 

22nd March

This morning the Tsesarevich rehearsed the parade of the horse regiment in the manege. Mitya and I were pretty satisfied with our duties as assistants.

After Verkhovsky's lecture, went to the company. Was at Varvara Ilinichna's, her son came, a small, cute blond boy, he sat on the floor and conversed very freely. When he is big he wants absolutely to write Russian history. 

Yesterday evening I was angry with Turgenev, he has been suspected a few times of tending in the revolutionary direction, and though these assumptions are all without foundation one cannot make Mama the target of baseless rumours in vain. As a consolation I had an evening with Dostoevsky today, invited Evgenia, Varvara Ilinichna, Tatiana Mikhailovna. The evening was in Mama's small study, and I sent the invitations in her name, though she could not show herself because of illness. Evgenia was very pleased with Dostoevsky, spoke with him all evening...

23rd March

In the morning, there was a rehearsal in the horse guards' manege. At obednya I prayed very well. Then I was dragged to the yacht club to ride in an ice boat. I don't hunt out these activities, which the English call sport, and when sport is compounded with frost I lose all spirit. But it would have been awkward to refuse; travelling under sail, even on the ice, is a naval matter. I got awfully cold, and was a little late for lunch with the Sovereign. 

25th March — Annunciation

The frightful day has come. Mitya and I turned up at the horse regiment manege for 11, they were luxuriously decorated with flags, cuirasses, caps and helmets. 

Though it was a little unpleasant for me to take part in the horse guards' parade, being company commander in the guards' crew, it's still nice to flaunt a beautiful white uniform from time to time, I know it suits me better than any other, and several people tell me that with a helmet on my head I look like Nicholas I. 

In the manege many ladies, impatient for the spectacle, filled the boxes. Finally, everyone in full dress, we took our places. The generals began to arrive in order of rank. The tension while expecting the Tsar's arrival grew with every moment. Finally he appeared—God Save the Tsar was heard and a loud "hurrah" echoed through the whole manege. 

The parade went very successfully. The Sovereign remained awfully satisfied. 

I diligently wrote notes for my new novel, it's almost ready. The Sovereign held a big lunch for officers of the horse regiment in the Winter Palace concert hall at 6 o'clock; I was then in horse guard uniform. Sat between Novosiltsev and Seryozha Bibikov, the brother of Varvara Ilinichna. 

Went to a charity concert consisting exclusively of Tchaikovsky compositions. Was in the red uniform and was terribly embarrassed until the Tsesarevna sat near me. I had to rush home but she didn't let me, fearing being left alone. Finally we left together...

Konstantin wearing his white uniform, c. 1900s

29th March — 4th week of fasting

...I again want to start compiling a list of the 10 days of Silistria; I don't know what to start with and in what style to write.

Read "Notes from the war of 77-78" by a regimental priest in The Russian Messenger.

30th March 

I'm writing late at night, impressed by a lovely evening; P. I. Tchaikovsky, Shcherbatov, and Nilov were at mine; the conversation, for the most part, was about music, about opera. We decided to invite Tchaikovsky to come with us around the world on the Herzog; he's really giving in to our offer. But there's a massive obstacle, whether or not the government will agree. It would be good if fate could contrive this. 

[My] comrades found a romance for the piano I wrote some time ago based on Tolstoy's words: "When the forest is silent all round"; they made me play it; it's written roughly, needless to say, I only just deciphered it, much less Pyotr Ilyich. They liked the last lofty phrase, "and wanting to shake your hand" which I made a great song and dance about, and they were singing it for a long time. 

We, that is I, said goodbye to Tchaikovsky with obvious mutual cordiality, as if we've been acquaintances for a long time, and even friends. His short-sighted eyes glowed with a kind, affectionate light, his cleverness shows through them. —Although we were only four all together, we sat quietly until 2 o'clock, the conversation didn't cease. 

31st March

The other day I was elected an honorary member of the amateur society for natural sciences, anthropology, and ethnography—this is probably the Muscovites sensing that I harbour tender feelings towards Moscow. 

⧫⧫⧫

Translation by Lottie Bailey (@Medesikasta)

SOURCES:

Diary: К. Р.Дневники. Воспоминания. Стихи. Письма, ed. by Ella Matonina

Prozhito, diary of Konstantin Romanov

Photos:

Gerzog

Tchaikovsky

Konstantin

Diaries of Grand Duke Konstantin Konstantinovich — October 1879

The Marble Palace

 6th October — Strelna

Christie didn't come, and I was unhappy in the evening. It would have been so glorious to spend it together with Christie on the Turkish sofa, stirring the soul with elevated conversation. In this respect, [my] fascinating friendship with Christie is a true blessing for my small moral world, and I thank God for a friend whose presence has such a good influence on me. With all the strength of my soul I grab every new, sublime thought keeping me from the dirt of life, from constant, daily, empty vanity...

8th October — Strelna

Read in full a collection of letters by A. S. Pushkin. I liked one letter, written in '22 to his brother in French. Pushkin's brother finished his studies and was preparing to go into the world; I liked the advice in the letter about meeting new people. Pushkin warns his younger brother off infatuations and charms, advising to potentially have a low opinion of new acquaintances: this will lower itself on closer relations; with such a method, you will not meet with sad disappointments, so painful for the young, trusting soul and destroying the charm and attractiveness of life. I copied this into my book. 

8th October [Cont] — Marble Palace

I apparently still haven't noted in this book that in the new year I want to get a company, and until then will watch closely.

⧫⧫⧫

Translation by Lottie Bailey (@Medesikasta)

SOURCES:

Diary: К. Р.Дневники. Воспоминания. Стихи. Письма, ed. by Ella Matonina

Prozhito, diary of Konstantin Romanov

Photos:

Marble Palace

Diaries of Grand Duke Konstantin Konstantinovich — September 1879

Konstantin (right) with his siblings Nikolai, Olga, and Vera c. 1860

 2 September — Baltic Port

Left the Baltic port under power of sail, not leaking vapours, in the morning at 11 on my watch.

During 'all hands on deck' I'm on the tank, in charge. Sometimes I'm involved in the general work, but often feel cold-blooded to the mess surrounding me, and find such apathy that it's as if I'm falling asleep, I think about anything and see and hear nothing. My comrades noticed with ease long ago that I serve by requirement and not by personal inclination. I don't brag about my naval knowledge, instead only try to find out and learn more.

We all really love Pavel Pavlovich. P. P. Novosilsky, rank II captain, commander of Svetlana. Though he is often very angry with us for inability and negligence. But he approaches naval matters, which he knows to the core, with such zealousness and love and always teaches and helps so well that we are all disarmed when he gets angry with us...

3 September

Stood the last watch on deck with such joy and didn't go down!

4 September

Started to drag on my watch. The flag was lowered at the Merchant's Gate: I crossed myself. Sad. The last time lowering the flag, that solemnity really plays on the soul. Got into the military harbour wonderfully quickly, less than two hours. 

A pity that the first wonderful minutes of expecting to be home again have passed. Yesterday when I was approaching the palace at Strelna and didn't know for sure whether or not Mama and Mitya were there, and calmed down upon seeing light in the windows—how my heart was beating. One of the best feelings in life—expectation and joy, when you enter your home door. 

Approaching the house, every pebble, every insignificant thing reminded me of something in the past. With what pleasure I ran up the stairs and saw the first familiar face.

The Konstantin Palace at Strelna

24 September—Strelna

Today did a big walk at Gatchina. Having got to Gatchina, we went at once to look at the palace. Walked, walked, wandering through every room, looking with curiosity at the portraits and all sorts of valuable things. The rooms of Paul I occupied us more than anything, and especially his bed, transported from Petersburg, on which he died. On the white pillows stains were visible similar to traces of blood, this sight produced a sorry impression on me. We stayed a long time with Nikolai Feodorovich and Pereslavtsev in Paul Petrovich [Paul I]'s rooms, rummaging through his books and papers. We found a bible in red velvet with gold crosses, in which are some kind of masonic addresses with Greek and Latin sayings. Apart from this, there were a few books with mystical contents and other essays: memoir de Sully, a herbarium, drawings of some sort of unknown flags, sermons, some books from the end of the century etc. 

We were brought to the Tsar's hunting place, we were in pens while wolves and foxes ran freely around us, we were shown Borzoi and hounds...

26 September — Strelna

Yesterday evening after the propeller[?], Nikolai Feodorovich read us the dialogue of two of Dostoevsky's brothers Karamazov. We heard the tense development of thoughts and the collisions of human contradiction, about the torment of children, about the final existence and the impossibility of harmony. The argument became fierce, minds were lost, there was shouting in every room, and, of course, nothing was resolved. What great power of mind Dostoevsky has! He leads one round such thoughts that one grows fearful and one's hair stands on end. Yes, not one country has produced such a writer, and all else pales before him. 

30 September — Petersburg

While we were drinking tea today at Aunt's and everyone around me was having a lively discussion, a blissful moment came upon me: I felt as though I was in the kingdom of heaven, watching, smiling at everyone around me; life seemed cheerful and pleasant and seemingly, nothing could upset my moral peace. But this condition soon darkened, thinking that such a minute was found through new acquaintance with Christie, that is from love for a new friend. I'm embarrassed to realise that I can still love friends, believe in friendship enthusiastically, like a child.

Today I was somehow seized by love for Elena, a wave of longing for her, and my life seemed broken and unhappy to me without her. 

                                                                                 ⧫⧫⧫

Translation by Lottie Bailey (@Medesikasta)

SOURCES:

Diary: К. Р.Дневники. Воспоминания. Стихи. Письма, ed. by Ella Matonina

Photos:

Konstantinovichi

Strelna

Diaries of Grand Duke Konstantin Konstantinovich - August 1879

Konstantin (far left) with his mother and siblings Nikolai, Olga, Dmitri, and Vera c.1863

 1 August — Svetlana — Finnish gulf

I still don't fully understand steamer work. I'm often frightened when I think of the idea of a lone steam watch. I pray to God a lot, delving into all around me. I willingly ask advice from Pavel Pavlovich (commander of Svetlana — E. M.), not especially trusting Skrydlov.

Today came dark minutes, overwhelming sorrow, it seemed to me that I don't know anything and will never learn to be a decent sailor. Reminisced about home, about the rooms of Pavlovsk, about the balcony with curling plants, about peaceful days. And here every minute one prepares for something unexpected...

3 August — Svetlana

Again my head hurt and despondency found me. When my head hurts, it always makes me miserable. Remembered poetry, thought how good it would be not to serve at all and do everything according to one's own will, and most of all to stay at home. 

I heard all the wonderful words of "Demon". 

4 August — Baltic Sea

In the morning read about the new ships of the German fleet. It should be significant in the future. 

Watch from 1 to 6.

On artillery watch commanded the battery. Around 6 tore a training mine. —From 12 walked around the steamer, sails fixed, deadliest calm. 

5 August

I read Dostoevsky's short story "Poor Folk", already the third day of reading and I finished it today. It made me so afraid and sad following the people invented in this story, I long to find out where in all the world there are such people and to help them. I barely held on in the mess, ran to my own cabin, knelt by the bed and burst into tears. For a long time I could not calm myself, kept thinking of the terrible things in my life and cried all the more. Everything I felt in the last few days, all the adversity in my soul leaked out with the tears.

Now I feel excellent, and was not lazy to go on watch, and fear nothing in the future, and pray well. 

8 August — Kiel

Despondency has again begun to take me apart, Copenhagen frightens me with various festivities. Trying to drive away the thought that I don't want to serve in the fleet. —This is my home—need to submit to fate.

9 August

Prayed diligently, asking God to help me in my twenty-second year to be an honourable person. In the mess they heartily congratulated me...

13 August — Copenhagen

I was met so sweetly, so sincerely, as if I had come to my own home. And the King and Queen welcomed and questioned so affectionately. I was very happy to see our "ducky Tsesarevna", she has been staying in her home country for two months. She brought me to her children who wanted to see me, they were lying in bed and waiting for me...

Then the Tsarevna brought me to another room where Crown Princess Louise and Princess Alix were, lovely as day to look at her, she is so wonderfully beautiful and sweet. —Then we all gathered indoors, in the corner room for the evening. In this room I saw our Tsesarevna for the first time, she was in mourning for the old Tsesarevich and was still silent in front of Sasha*. This was 14 years ago in '65. 

15 August — Copenhagen

Went to call on Princess Caroline, the Crown Princess, and the widowed Queen. Stood watch from 6 to midnight. This familiar life is very tiring. 

17 August 

My watch from 8 in the morning. Wind (SW) was very fresh and roaring. The senior officer went to shore to the Thorvaldsen Museum, I stayed behind, and with me on watch was Tolstoy. Thus I was for a few hours the senior officer—caliph for an hour; running on the decks, checking everything's in order.

Dropped the second anchor. Very fresh. Went to shore...Called on the Queen, Minnie and Alix for tea, quickly sat on the floor—ma position. Then Minnie brought me to Alix's room, she lay on the sofa and I again sat on the floor. So we remained until lunch. 

...One can see that there was and always will be familial happiness [here], there are clean and simple relations between everyone, not as we have. I understand that both Sasha and Minnie come here in order to rest from the tedious, awkward moral situation in Petersburg. Even the children are here somehow more cheerful, free and casual. 

Returned around 9.

18 August

From hour to hour the yacht Tsarevna is expected, on which the Tsesarevich should arrive from Stockholm. 

At 9 in the morning went ashore with the officers on a tender. Went with Tolstoy, Denisov and the old doctor first to change money, then to the Thorvaldsen Museum. I was covered in benevolent feelings at the sight of the simple grave of the famous sculptor, covered with ivy, in the middle of all his works. His Hermes I liked most of all. 

Thorvaldsen's Hermes

19 August

The Tsesarevich, finally, arrived at 6 in the morning on a private steamer from Malmö. After breakfast I went to him and stayed there all day. It was glorious to watch Sasha and Minnie together, they both look so happy. 

This time lunch was accompanied by solemn music, there were many invitees who lunched in another room, and the family separately in the dining room—the King stood and drank to Sasha's health, and he became very confused and red despite his considerable size and heavy form. Sasha is modest and shy to the extreme. 

In the evening everyone went to the widowed Queen; she is wonderfully preserved, you can't tell that she's in her ninth decade; I really like her, such a glorious, important old lady, clearly a queen; and she lives peacefully and serenely, everything so simple and sweet and in an altogether grand style.

20 August

My watch was from midday, I...telegraphed the Tsesarevich to say that I won't come. 

I still haven't said anything about our frigate monk; today because of him there were a few unpleasant happenings on the frigate which I will use to describe the personality of the priest. Father Ilya the Second joined the frigate when we sailed from the Novgorod-Skovorodsky monastery; his appearance is not very attractive; he is an elderly person with sparse greying hair, his forehead is wrinkled and slopes completely up—a sign of underdevelopment.

Really, Father Ilya is extremely stupidly developed and completely uneducated: he speaks poorly, stuttering and stumbling even during worship, and pronouncing the letter "V" like little Russians [Ukrainians] do "U". As a dark person he is, of course, not opposed to strong drink. —In the mess society is split in two halves; at one end of the table the golds—sailors, at the other—the silvers, that is the mechanics and navigators. Today at dinner one of the navigators gave Father a drink so that he completely passed the limits of decency, especially as a spiritual person. —Some went to laugh at the priest, to prevent him giving a sermon, others, partly I, resented this. However, I confess, I couldn't resist and heard "the word" of Father Ilya "about the soul". Of course "the word" was a laughing stock and finally, by general force, we persuaded the priest to lie down and sleep in his own cabin

Then an old officer stood to protest, finding it extremely indecent to get a priest drunk, that it's disrespectful to the mess and disrespectful to spiritual dignity; the guilty young navigator got it sharply, he was besieged and shut up. 

21 August

After breakfast returned to shore. Dropped in to an antiquarium, looked out some old carved cabinets for myself, bought a bronze of Thorvaldsen's Mercury.

25 August — Copenhagen

I stood watch from 8-12 and during this watch the Tsesarevich and Tsesarevna visited the frigate. While viewing the frigate the Tsesarevich wished to see the sails drill. Opened the sails and then fixed them. Then there was an alarm for the battery; artillery drill went fairly well—the best old mariners on the barge for Sasha and on guard as if the runners[?] were not there—unsurprising that the sail drill was not glittering. Nonetheless the Tsesarevich and Tsesarevna remained absolutely satisfied. 

26 August — Svetlana

I'm terribly tired—at breakfast we left. Said goodbye to everyone and thanked [them] for a wonderful reception...

27 August 

We weighed anchor at 7.30 in the morning. Still ten days, but maybe less—and I will be home. I count the days, numbers, watches when I stand them. Impatience grows greater and greater. 

                                                                                   ⧫⧫⧫

*Princess Dagmar of Denmark was initially engaged to Tsesarevich Nikolai Alexandrovich who died at 21 from meningitis. His dying wish was that she should marry his brother Alexander "Sasha", the new heir.

Translation by Lottie Bailey (@Medesikasta)

SOURCES:

Diary: К. Р.Дневники. Воспоминания. Стихи. Письма, ed. by Ella Matonina

Photos:

Konstantinovichi

Hermes

Diaries of Grand Duke Konstantin Konstantinovich - July 1879

 

Konstantin by Aniklot Pasetti, 1870s

17 June[sic] — Pavlovsk

We are celebrating the 25-year anniversary of Papa's deliverance from drowning. It is the day of St. Marina. Papa asked permission from the Sovereign to take part of the holy relics, located in the chapel of the Winter Palace, to our chapel in the Marble [Palace]. Today the relics were brought to Pavlovsk. A moleben was served, the former officers from Lefort 25 years ago were gathered. Solemn breakfast in the Greek Hall...

18 July — Kronstadt

The Sovereign viewed the cruisers Europe, Asia and Africa; the clippers Robber and Rider, Equestrian, Gaydamak, and the corvette Bayan on the eastern Kronstadt roadstead. — I was in the suite. Out of the family the Sovereign was accompanied by the Tsesarevich, Papa and Alexei. At 12 we left from Petersburg on the yacht Alexandria. 

The weather remained favourable, a cloudy sky, over time the sun was hidden; however it was very warm. —First the Sovereign visited Gaydamak, then Equestrian, Bayan, the American corvette Enterprise and Europe. On Gaydamak and Equestrian the alarms were piercing, the review of the artillery was executed with remarkable speed. On Bayan they opened the sails. On Enterprise there was a ceremonial march. Puppet comedy. 

20 July — Ilyin day — Pavlovsk

Did a big walk with Tatiana Mikhailovna and Pavel Egorovich. We are now good friends. After breakfast all three gathered at Tatiana Mikhailovna's. General Kireev read to us a note titled: "Should we dispose of nihilism?", which he wishes to give to the Sovereign. 

The reasons our nihilism was spawned are explained in the note, and the methods to which it is necessary to resort in order to save the youth from it. 

It seems to me that Kireev has missed an advantageous opportunity to keep silent, wishing to give his note to the Sovereign. I am convinced that his advice will not only have no effect, but will even be totally overlooked, still this is the lesser evil: he could also pay for his words. But I respect Kireev precisely because he always acts according to his conscience, and not as will benefit him. 

Tatiana Mikhailovna Lazareva, 1860s

22 July

I'm composing the poem "Willow". 

23 July — Gatchina

We—that is, Mama, Tanya Lazareva and I—conducted Maria Pavlovna and Vladimir to Gatchina. When their train moved, we were met at Gatchina station by P. S. Keppen. Sat four in the carriage and we were brought to Gatchina through the garden. 

At Gatchina, in the park, in the palace, there is a seal of loneliness, historical antiquity and secrecy; when you arrive, you are covered in the soul of the old world, not possessed by any other Petersburg country palace. Involuntarily at Gatchina, from every corner of the palace rooms it is as if hidden sighs can be heard, and quiet tears, and laughter, and laughter[sic], and the fun of the good old years.

We stayed a long time in the Chinese gallery, looking at old portraits and pretentious chinoiserie. The sun, shining through the yellow glass, lit up the bronzes and Chinese porcelain; didn't want to leave there. —We didn't manage to see the rooms of Paul I and his bed, on which he died—there was not time before the train left...

Chinese gallery at Gatchina, early 20th c

29 July — Kronstadt

At 9 in the morning weighed anchor under steam. Under the command of Skrydlov and taking the advice of other officers, I cleaned the anchor. My first watch while travelling was at 12 in the afternoon. 

⧫⧫⧫

Translation by Lottie Bailey (@Medesikasta)

SOURCES:

Diary: К. Р.Дневники. Воспоминания. Стихи. Письма, ed. by Ella Matonina

Photos:

Konstantin

Tatiana Mikhailovna

Gatchina

Diaries of Grand Duke Konstantin Konstantinovich - June 1879

Konstantin, c. 1875

1 June — Novorossiysk

In the morning dropped anchor at Novorossiysk bay. Around it are green mountains of monotonous, despondent appearance. The wharf suffers from a cruel "bora", especially in winter. In '48 in this roadstead during a "bora" storm the schooner Jet was sunk, went to the bottom under pressure of an ice crust. A very unimportant place for anchoring. 

Wonderful weather, very warm. I was so happy at the thought that tomorrow I will be in Oreanda. I so love the view of Yalta and the Yalta roadstead, the smell of laurels, the steep scales of Ai-Petri. When I'm sad, it's nice to remember all this, especially the slope of the mountains to the sea outside Yalta, to make the heart feel better. 

Novorossiysk gives the impression of a boring, empty city. A dirty church, unfortunate public garden, inconspicuous streets, nasty bridges, barracks, hospital, Greeks and some sort of Russians. I went with Obezyaninov to the mountain, accompanied by Colonel Nikiforaki. He, it seems, is a very businesslike, skilful and good person. He will surely get a lot from the engineers; Papa noticed that the cathedral is in a very obscene state, and asked who maintained it: the colonel answered, the engineers. Papa gave a stern dressing-down to the engineering department in the presence of the officers, instructing them to convey this to their superiors. Obezyaninov promised me to warn them in Tiflis that the engineers are really guilty—and that Nikifiraki didn't dole this out to them, but Papa himself noticed the dirty environment of the church.

3 June — Oreanda

After breakfast talked about "going through hard times". I gave comfort, saying that the world does not revolve around a wedge*, that people have lived and live and will go on living. Talked about the trial of Solovev, who committed an attempt on the Sovereign's life, and about his execution on 27 May.

4 June

Read about the state criminal Solovev and a description of his execution. It made a heavy impression on me, my head even started to hurt...

5 June — Oreanda

Last day here. Someday I will again see dear Crimea. God grant that I will then be at least no worse than I am now.

7 June — Nikolaev

At 11 in the morning was on the Bug at Spasskaya pier. Big meeting, admirals in uniform, flowers, gates, "Welcome" sign and so on—all as it should be... Set out with Kormanovsky to wander around the city. Were at the craft school; at a shelter for old men, women, and children, at an organised society; at a girls' boarding house and the Konstantin literacy school.

Then I went to the cemetery; wanted to visit the graves of my first teacher Elizaveta Ivanovna Iliny and my dear Gavrishev, who died of his wounds at Mama's infirmary. I prayed at his grave, asked him to pray to God to strengthen Mama's health and happiness. And it seemed to me, that Vladimir's soul was closer to me. —At home found out that our departure from here has been postponed until tomorrow. Can't express how upset this made me: I so hoped to finish with the tedious and boring inspections of all sorts of establishments and workshops. I gathered myself, prayed to God to calmly shift my trouble. I prayed also to Gavrishev. And the prayer helped and strengthened me wonderfully. I soon came to see and find some satisfaction in wandering the admiralty behind Papa, among the huge suite. A few times Papa got very angry over the idiotic and careless trimmings of a few objects of the Nikolaev port.

9 June — On the bank of the Bug

The whole time the weather remained wonderful, very sultry. Went with N. I. Kaznakov to a missile factory, and to a Bulgarian boarding house.

Bathed in the Bug. Was with Papa at the Panferova women's boarding house, the Alexandrovsky gymnasium and examined an excellent, still unfinished naval hospital.

At 4:45 left Nikolaev. Mama asked [me] on the telephone to plant jasmine and mignonette at Gavrishev's grave. I instructed this to Kaznakov, he promised to fulfil it. Mama asked [me] to plant exactly these flowers, because [her?] old governess saw the dead in her sleep, as though to reproach her for not taking to his grave mignonette and jasmine, his favourite flowers. 

10 June

In Kharkiv Papa was met by the temporary governor-general Loris-Melikov. We were there with him, he told Papa about the current mood of Kharkiv society and about the socialist-revolutionary society. I liked Melikov's beliefs, though I have read little and know little to judge people's view on management. All my inner feelings rejoiced, seeing that in Kharkiv the governor-general doesn't take any steep, careless measures as leader.

11 June — Moscow

At 6 1/2 were in Moscow. By custom, went upon arrival to bow to the ikon of the Iveron Mother of God. The people awaited us around the wide porches and greeted with a welcoming "hoorah". Going into the chapel, made two earthly bows, venerated the ikon and again bowed to the earth, I heard the church singing, and on exiting my hearing was again deafened by the "hoorah" of the people. It was nice to feel the connection, seemingly non-existent between other peoples and their princes.

I experienced joy and a racing heart, seeing Red Square, Lobnoe Mesto, Vasily the Blessed, and then, when we removed our caps beneath the Spassky Gates, a man on a wagon, having removed his hat, also took the hat off [his] coachman. 

We settled in at the Small Kremlin Palace. In every step here Papa has childhood memories. After lunch he took me to Alexandria, where every room also reminds him of childhood and his deceased sister Alexandra Nikolaevna (aunt Anchen), with whom he was especially friendly. Alexandria belonged to Count Orlov-Chesmensky and was bought by the deceased Sovereign for the Empress. We also went in the garden. Papa wanted to show me the pavilion where in his childhood he ran between lessons. Now Sergei Nikolaevich Solovev lives there, he's very ill, the doctors say that he has liver cancer.

We went to him and found him working on a manuscript of the history of Ekaterina. We live under one roof with the Chudovsky Monastery, where the relics of Saint Alexei lie.

Alexandria Palace, c. 1884

12 June 

Prince Dolgorukov sent me T. V. Merlin who was under him—Count Uvarov is not here—and in the morning I went all around Moscow with Merlin. Today I went to the cathedrals: Uspensky, Archangel and Annunciation; venerated the relics and looked at the shrines and sites. Was at the palace, in the Facteted and Gold palaces, at the Terem, saw the inner churches...

We went with Papa to the anthropological exhibition, where the committee received us with breakfast. Then we viewed the exhibition. The archeological section was very captivating and interesting. 

Had lunch at Dologrukov's; I sat beside Maria Nikolaevna Mansurova, the niece of the prince...

Yesterday were at the Maly Theatre, for a conservatory staging of "Evgeny Onegin" by Tchaikovsky, under the direction of N. G. Rubinstein. The role of Tatiana was beautifully played by the student Klimentova. 

13 June

In the morning went with Merlin to the patriarchal sacristy and armoury palace. After breakfast was with Papa at the anthropological exhibition. From there again with Merlin went to the archive of the ministry of foreign affairs, where my nerves were tried to the extreme by the obsequiousness of the archive director Baron Buhler.

Before leaving we walked around the whole Kremlin wall; the weather was good, the view of Moscow was delightful—Had lunch again at Dolgoruky's.

14 June — Moscow

In the morning saw the Saviour on the Bor, Vasily the Blessed...Was in the women's Passion Monastery. There is an ikon of the Holy Mother of God, and the head of St. Anastasia. I came to the Hegumen. Want to send a lamp to the ikon in this monastery. Was at Merlin's, and no matter how much I refused and was embarrassed, I was obliged to take a gift from him of a few antique things from his own unparalleled collection...Were at the cathedral of the Saviour under construction; saw the raising of the bells. The cathedral's appearance, especially inside, is of amazing size and beauty.

Were at the house of S. M. Tretyakov, ["голови" is the whole clause here but I don't really know what he means by this], viewed his gallery. Were also at the museum of applied knowledge, then Soldatyonkov's gallery and the other Tretyakov's.

15 June — 1879 — Pavlovsk

Went with Papa to Tsarskoe. The Sovereign gave me a badge with his monogram, having said: "For you, in memory of the day when you were with me during Plevna". Papa told the Sovereign about all our travels, gave him a good impression of sailing on Popovka. Were at the Empress'; she was also interested in Popovka and in our travels generally.

...Here I heard that I will not go around the world this year. I am lost in assumptions, and give my fate into the hands of God.

19 June — Pavlovsk

Completely orphaned; now Pavel Egorovich has gone as well I remain alone, however I am not sorry, I'm fine alone.

In the morning went up to the storerooms, looked out the old and intricate in a pile of things; found a jacob armchair, and such a magnificent bureau. Among all the junk found a portrait of Peter the Great and the king of England Charles I. Took all this to my room. Mama helped me to arrange it, and it turned out very sweet.

22 June

Got up very late and thus wasn't happy with myself, head hurt a bit. Was late to a walk with Tatiana Mikhailovna.

After breakfast went to Tsarskoe. Met the Sovereign and Empress in a carriage; a Cossack on the box, in front, mounted Cossacks at the sides and behind, a few at a distance...in drozhki. I confess, it hurt to watch how the Tsar should travel as a prisoner—and then where? In Russia itself. 

22 June [cont?]

Was at Elena Sheremeteva's; she lives in Tsarskoe at the Kreylitz Dacha[?]. We were very, very happy to see one another. On the path to hers I pondered my love and could not account for it: is it right that my inner self is meek and accustomed to all sorts of sorrow, or was the love not real? I remember how it hurt me, pained me, but I never felt jealous and even fell in love with Volodya. And now, though I really wished to be Elena's husband when it was possible, I don't feel despair...

About my sailing nothing more has been said, I don't know anything. I confess it's a rather unpleasant state...

Elena Sheremeteva, née Stroganova, c. 1870s

23 June

In the morning read the biography of Grand Duchess Elena Pavlovna "In Old and New Russia". 

It often occurs to me that my diary also, after sixty, seventy years, will appear in print somewhere: often, I confess, this makes me pay attention to the style and truthfulness of my notes...

Laroche came to me, professor of music theory at the Petersburg Conservatory. He's my friend, I happily showed him our palace; it never tires me and cannot bore me to talk for the hundredth time about various rooms, the porcelain, the bronze, the wallpaper and the old furniture, showing all these to charm guests...

24 June — Pavlovsk

Our family had lunch at the Tsar's; the Empress is extremely weak, her appearance is sickly and tired, she coughs harshly. Because of her weakness she near enough didn't participate in the conversation between the Sovereign and Papa, she, unmoving, sat in an armchair, often closing her eyes, and had the most pathetic appearance. The conversation was boring for our generation: about former commanders of the guard regiments, about the chiefs of sections of these regiments' manoeuvres. Must be confessed that these luncheons are not famous among we who are cheerful or at all curious. 

Late evening at Pavlovsk I was at Tatiana Mikhailovna's and sat there until one in the morning. Told her about my life on Svetlana and then on the bank of the Danube, my childish attachment to Alexei Valentinovich and how these feelings changed to sincere and strong friendship. 

Told her, per her request, about the Silistrian situation and how I received the George cross. 

Returned home by the yard; loved the view of the palace in the light and bright June night, illuminated by the full moon. 

25 June — Petersburg

If Nicholas I were alive, he would be 83 years old today. The family gathered for a panikhida in Petersburg, in the fortress. 

28 June — Pavlovsk

Mama returned from Strelna extremely agitated. Entering the Tsarskoe Selo garden, at the big palace, not far from the arsenal, she was met by a Cossack on horseback. Behind him were harnessed a pair of English horses which the Sovereign ruled, leading a basket, in which apart from the Sovereign was Princess Dolgorukaya and the children. Pavel Egorovich [and] Countess Keller, accompanying Mama, noticed that the Sovereign looked extremely embarrassed.

It's understandable that Mama was extremely upset after such a meeting. I thanked God that I didn't go with Mama. The heart pours blood to see what our Tsar is doing, the Autocrat of all Russia, and even after the wonderful escape from the attempt on his life.

29 June

My fate now, it seems, has changed. Papa was at Kronstadt yesterday. He inspected the corvette Bayan, which has returned from distant sailing. The thought came to him to send Bayan around the world again in autumn with a guards' crew. He wants to send me with them. Here now everything has changed. I'm happy, however Petersburg winter frightens me, with divorces, festivities and so on...

                                        ⧫⧫⧫

*Idiom essentially meaning 'not the be all end all'. 

Translation by Lottie Bailey (@Medesikasta)

SOURCES:

Diary: К. Р.Дневники. Воспоминания. Стихи. Письма, ed. by Ella Matonina

Konstantin

Elena

Alexandria